Southern Hall of Shame

 

I consider myself a fairly confident cook....except when it comes to typically Southern foods - which one might consider odd because I am, in fact, Southern. I can get in the kitchen and cook sans recipe with marvelous results most of the time, if I do say so myself. I also enjoy cooking out of various books and learning new cuisines. That, too, usually turns out wonderfully. I'm not bragging, just making a point. Yet, when it comes to southern foods, foods I grew up with and ate often - foods that are home - I suddenly lose my nerve. I lose all faith in any bit of culinary acumen I thought I possessed.

Case in point - This morning I woke up to a dreary, gray day.  I marched downstairs. I really wanted toast, but my husband has been on an eating plan that bans flour. Therefore, I am also on an eating plan that bans flour. Thus, no bread in the house. Therefore, no toast. (As much as I miss the "evil" bleached flour, I must say that I have lost over five pounds on this plan.)

That's when I remembered the grits - which I had smuggled up from my previous trip home. In fact, the drive back to Rhode Island was predicated on what time the cafe opened so that I could pick up said grits. These aren't your ordinary, every day, run of the mill (no pun intended) grits. (If you didn't get that joke, you will when you see the label on the grits bag below.) These are special.

So, even better than toast...I'm going to have a good old Southern staple, one that says, definitively - with  a drawl, "I'm Southern." I pull them out of the freezer where they reside due to a moth invasion. (The freezer is the only safe place.) I untie the string which always looks like it was put on by someone attempting to tie it with one hand. I pry apart the crumpled paper and suddenly doubt creeps in. It sounds something like this:

Gosh, do you remember how to make grits? It's been a while. What are the proportions of grits to water? ...and how long do you cook them? Do you even remember how long to stir it? Lid on or off - or a little of both. Maybe it's all the above.

As the voice continues, I can see that unless I regain my Steel Magnolia backbone in the kitchen, I'm obviously destined to doom future generations ...

You know, you really have to start remembering and practicing these things. You do want to pass these foods onto your children, don't you? You don't want them to grow up without a knoweldge and love of Southern foods, do you?

I wedge my hand into the bag and shame creeps over me as I grab the 2 inch by 4 inch piece of bright yellow paper onto which the recipe is printed. I have to look because I, in fact, can't recall how to do it from memory. Maybe it's because I'm now living in the "North" - maybe Southern food memory doesn't survive well above the Mason Dixon line...although I have had some exceptional examples of southern food up here - have even found a couple of good versions of gravy & biscuits, and that's hard to find even in the South! (Don't tell.)

So, here's the simple recipe that I can't seem to remember:

GRITS
1 cup Old Mill Grits
3 cups water
Salt, pepper, butter to taste. Bring water to boil, add salt. Add grits, stir constantly. Cook until thick - 10-15 minutes. Serve with butter. For cheese grits add grated cheddar cheese once grits are cooked.

They came out great...and I only stirred until the grits were incorporated then I turned down the flame and covered with a lid - which I'm proud to say came to me as if by magic, by rote even...it turns out that I do remember some of the things I learned while watching my "momma" in the kitchen. So that voice of southern shame can just "kiss my grits!"

• My favorite way to eat grits is with a tangy cheddar, butter, salt, and pepper. There's a white Irish cheddar, called Dubliner, that's outstanding with grits.
• I also suggest grits for dinner. Add cheese and green chiles, and serve with chicken mole. (I had this particular pairing in Newport at a fabulous, funky place called Salvation Cafe. The fact that they serve grits and are named salvation strikes my "fire and brimstone" southern funny bone as rather amusing.)
• Grits are plural by the way, you can't have just one grit.
• Know what the acronym G.R.I.T.S. stands for? My husband did...and that's one of the many ways he won my heart, but that's another story. It stands for "Girls Raised In The South."